


Never Too Late

by IndisputablyTrashy (blackbirbs)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Based on a Tumblr Post, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Restaurants, Socially awkward Dave is the best Dave, Sorry to Eridan fans but Eridan is quite a douchebag here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-02
Updated: 2016-09-02
Packaged: 2018-08-12 14:14:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7937758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirbs/pseuds/IndisputablyTrashy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Sorry I’m so late, babe, traffic was super crazy right now." he pipes up with a hasty voice, a sheepish smile on his tanned face. His blue eyes gaze through yours with an apologetic look.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Wait, blue eyes? But Eridan doesn't have blue eyes.</em></p><p> </p><p><em>Your eyes widen even wider as you then realize, this guy</em> isn't <em>your designated date for the night at all.</em></p><p> </p><p>  <em>Not that you're complaining, at least someone still showed up. Somehow.</em></p><p> </p><p>[Or: In which Dave got stood up on a date, but then John came and saved the day]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Too Late

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't supposed to be this long what happened even sghalskgjhakghaksgh
> 
> ANYWAY, this fic was based on this prompt: _"Imagine person A of your otp is waiting at a restaurant for their date and is obviously being stood up and person B notices this, just before person A gets sick of waiting and gets up to leave person B sits with them, and even though they aren’t who person A was waiting for they end up having a lot of fun and hooking up"_
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy :)

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:33 --

TG: yo lalonde  
TG: guess who just got himself a date for friday evening  
TT: Oh my, what's this?   
TT: Dave Strider, my half-brother who is too awkward to talk to other people let alone ask them out on dates having himself land on one?   
TT: Care to fill me in with the details, brother of mine?   
TG: yeah well actually he was the one who approached me first  
TG: we talked about each other and shit then about an hour later he finally asked me out  
TG: i cant really find myself to say no to be honest  
TG: i mean who wouldnt want to go on a date with a hottie like him  
TT: Who is this 'hottie' you're going out with, then?   
TG: oh its just some hipster named eridan  
TG: i meet him at the library you work in  
TT: Hmmm. Tell me, Dave, does this Eridan happen to have 'Ampora' as his surname?   
TG: yeah well as a matter of fact he does  
TG: why do you know him or something?   
TT: Ugh, why him?   
TG: well why not him  
TT: He's one of my co-worker at the library, he's known for slacking on the job and wasting his time flirting with every hot person he sees. Not to mention the weird accent.   
TG: i should be flattered then since he asked me out on a date  
TG: that means he thinks im hot am i right  
TT: That's why I was so surprised, I suddenly had the thought that Eridan may be blind or something.   
TG: fuck you rose  
TG: im sure no one will resist this piece of strider ass not even eridan  
TT: Of course, you keep telling yourself that, Dave 'I completely ruin any conversation I have with other people because of my poor social skills' Strider.   
TG: poor social skills or not remember that this fine lad still has a date on friday  
TT: Yes, that's true, but I could've sworn that I saw Eridan with this tall skinny guy with a lisp. The both of them seem very, very close.   
TG: oh you mean sollux  
TG: eridan said that the two of them were just friends  
TT: I don't know, Dave. I have to say that I have a bad feeling with you going on a date with him.   
TG: rose are you seriously kidding me   
TG: one moment youre supportive of me finally having a date then the next thing youre having a bad feeling about it  
TG: im finally taking up your advice in meeting up with new people i thought you wanted that for me?   
TT: Oh, I do, Dave, believe me. Just... Not with him, not with Eridan.   
TG: sigh  
TG: well sorry to break it to you but i believe that theres no turning back with that right now  
TG: even if you try and force me into canceling the date you know well that im too much of a nice guy to even do that  
TT: I know.   
TG: tell you what  
TG: if this date with eridan doesnt turn out well i promise that i will never ever talk to him again  
TG: but if it did turn out okay with him you have to promise me that youll be happy for me no matter what you think about the guy  
TT: Okay, fine, I promise.   
TG: pinky promise me  
TG: in honor of the unbreakable half-siblings code  
TT: You sure do know that we don't do that stupid code anymore, the last time we did that was when we're eight years old.   
TG: le gasp  
TG: how dare you dis the code  
TG: i completely remember that i wrote on article 4 section 21 of the unbreakable half siblings code that NO ONE should ever dis the code   
TG: and that includes you too rose  
TT: Dave, I swear, you're a goddamn dork.   
TG: yeah well you still love me  
TG: now pinky promise me  
TT: Goddamn it, I pinky promise you.   
TG: hell yes  
TG: youre the best  
TT: I know.   
TG: also you need to help me with what should i wear on friday my wardrobe skills are shit and we both know it  
TT: Yes, I'm glad you finally admitted to that.   
TG: stfu  
TG: but still thanks for being such a great sis  
TT: You're utmost welcome, Dave. I just wish you the best of luck with your date on Friday.   
TG: yeah  
TG: and who knows  
TG: it may be one of the best nights of my life  
TT: Anyway, I have to go. See you on Friday night, Dave.  
TG: sure thing sis  
TG: bye

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:59 --

* * *

This is one of the worst fucking nights of your life.

It's been - what, a whole goddamn hour now and Eridan still hasn't shown up. At the first twenty or thirty minutes, you honestly thought (hell, you even _hoped_ ) that he just caught in too much traffic and was late. But now that a whole freaking hour has passed, you're just downright stood up as much as you don't like to admit.

You fucking hate it.

You fucking hate Rose for being right all along. Not that it surprised you because, in the end, Rose will always be right all along. You're not sure but somehow, her weird-ass seer powers had predicted that this date was going to shit. Boy, if you just listened to her when you had the chance to save yourself from the embarrassment.

You fucking hate Eridan for not showing up in this pathetic excuse for a date. In fact, he is such a fucking pathetic excuse for someone to go on a date with. You didn't even receive a single reply from your messages, he didn't even pick up the phone when you called. Now that you think of it, you don't even know why you accepted his offer for a date in the first place.

That's why most importantly, you fucking hate yourself for  _believing_ that you'd actually have a chance with another person. You try your best not to bang your head on the dinner table. Were you really that desperate enough to let yourself be blinded by false hope? Desperate enough to accept Ampora's offer without any second thought?

You just fucking hate everything right now.

You're also fully aware of the looks and glances the people around you are giving. You try your best to ignore the stares filled with pity, but you can't help but feel smaller and more pathetic than you already are.

Being the nice person you are, you kinda promise to yourself that you'd wait for Eridan before you eat anything, despite the waitress' insistent offers. Which currently leaves you not only feeling like shit but also so fucking hungry. Ugh, this night couldn't possibly go worse.

You begin to stand up, earning a couple more attention from your surroundings. You catch sight of about eleven people giving you pitiful looks. Twelve, if you're gonna count the waitress that's supposed to be your server for the entire night. Great, just what you need.

You feel bad for yourself and the effort you gave on this date. You did all the reservations shit, prepared for a 'romantic' candlelight dinner. You even dressed up nicely, even styled your already-perfect-hair. Too bad, all that are just going to waste.

Somehow, you manage to give yourself a mental pat on the back. Grade A+ for effort, Dave, I'm so proud of you. Now you know the amount of effort that you'd shower on your next date. If ever that you'd have another one, that is. Chances of that are much more blurry than the polluted waters in a sewage canal.

You then get your jacket that's placed on the back of the chair. You wouldn't want the bitter coldness of this night biting your already wounded heart.

You're now prepared to finally go home with an empty stomach and a sickening feeling in your gut. Maybe, you'd just spend the rest of the night watching shitty romcoms, eating some leftover ice cream as you wallow in your self-pity. Who knows what the rest of the night has in store for you.

Just when you're about to walk away from the table and forget that this date had ever happened, a warm hand catches yours.

Suddenly, your faith in humanity has been restored. You turn around, eyes wide because holy shit he _did_ showed up.

"Sorry I’m so late, babe, traffic was super crazy right now." he pipes up with a hasty voice, a sheepish smile on his tanned face. His blue eyes gaze through yours with an apologetic look.

Wait, blue eyes? But Eridan doesn't have blue eyes.

Your eyes widen even wider as you then realize, this guy _isn't_ your designated date for the night at all.

Not that you're complaining, at least someone still showed up. Somehow.

You stare at him from head to toe, and you notice that he's about two inches shorter than you. But he had a wider, sturdier built compared to your thin, lanky one. He's currently wearing a blue polo whose sleeves are tucked and folded all the way to his arms. Some khaki shorts (he's lucky he's legs still hasn't frozen with this kind of weather in Washington) and blue rubber shoes too.

You take a little longer on staring at his face. You see a mop of jet black hair, sticking in his head left and right. As if he had just woken up and got out of bed without even looking at the mirror to comb his hair. A pair of black, rectangular glasses shielding his bright blue eyes. Also, his complexion is gorgeously tanned.

You take a sharp intake of breath. Genuinely shocked at the fact that not only this guy was nice enough to save you from the humiliation of being stood up, but also that he's incredibly fucking _hot_.

Aware that there are several people now looking at you, you honestly don't know what the fuck are you gonna do.

His -seemingly kissable- mouth starts moving. Crap, he's saying something. You try your best to stop looking at his lips and instead focus on what he was saying.

"... please, give me another chance? We could still continue with the dinner, I'm sure you're hungry and all."

"I - um..." you stuttered, completely baffled about how things are turning out to be. "Sure?"

His shy smile grows wider as his face lights up at your agreement. With his hand holding yours, he pulls you closer to him. You feel one of him arms slip around your waist as he gives you a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

You're not sure which surprises you more: that some guy you don't even know is now up in your personal space; or that said guy, who is super hot, actually kissed you on the cheek. Either way, you still froze because of the sudden, bold gesture. 

Then you take notice again that he saying something again. You feel his breath as he starts to whisper in your ear. "Hey, I’m John. Just go with it, yeah? Whoever didn’t bother to show up is a dick."

You manage a nod, feeling heat rush straight to your face. He breaks the hug, letting go of you entirely and taking the seat that supposed to be Eridan's. Not that you're complaining, you think this guy's way better than him.

Copying his action, you sit on your chair awkwardly, eyes trained at the person in front of you. You see the assigned waitress coming towards your direction. She greets you and your newly arrived 'date' with a huge smile.

"Good evening, gentlemen," she chirps, voice warm and happy and somehow... mischievous. "I'll be your server for tonight. Here are your menus, just tell me when you need to order. I'll be back with the champagne"

"Yeah, thanks," your 'date', John, replies.

The waitress leaves the two of you, earning a pregnant silence between the two of you. You're left there, uncontrollably shuffling on your seat, queasy at the fact that _oh my fucking god, a hot guy showed up as your fucking date_.

"Sooooooo," John started, breaking the on-going silence between you. "What's your name again?"

"You didn't ask," you replied, throat dry. "But it's Dave."

His smile widens a fraction, you can't help but think, _'does this guy ever get tired of smiling?'_  "So, Dave, is this your usual idea for a date?" he asks.

You find yourself blinking dumbly at him, 'ideal date'? Oh, did he mean getting stood up unknowingly and ending up making a fool out of yourself in front of a ton of people? 

"No, not really," you answer quickly.

You see John frowning. "Look, I'm sorry if me showing up all of a sudden is bothering you, feel free to be creeped out or scared or cautious or something. It's just that I didn't want you to leave this restaurant looking so sad and lonely. And I get that you wouldn't want any pity from me, but I guess I might as well let you enjoy your time here by -"

"Woah, woah, slow down there, dude," you cut him off before he could even continue with his ramblings. "Everything's fine. I mean - sure, I'm a little fazed because of all this. On how things are turning out I mean, but you're not scaring me or anything. To be perfectly honest, I think it's doing quite the opposite."

With that, you catch him blushing furiously and you smile a little at his sudden shyness. He's really cute, you're not gonna lie about that.

"I - I'm glad then, again, I'm sorry for my tardiness, but I hope the rest of this date would turn out well."

Nodding, you reply. "Yeah, me too."

The waitress comes back with the champagne, pours the content on each of your wine glass. She happily informs you again that just wave for her if you're ready to order before strutting away.

Once she's gone, you started skimming through the menu, looking at the titles on the dishes. You swear you can't even pronounce half of these. You bit your lip, then look at him, he seems to have already picked out his order since he's not checking the menu anymore. He then catches you staring, you quickly look away and focus on the forty or so names on food on the menu.

About five minutes later, you still haven't decided on what to order. You're just pitifully staring at the menu right now, stuck at this particular dish you don't even know, reading the name over and over again on your mind. Like whenever you're studying or something. When you're stuck reading this whole paragraph of your textbook because _nothing_ is registering in your mind.

Having John to look at you expectantly is only making things more frustrating and awkward. Eventually, he speaks up. "Having trouble picking an order?"

You nod, silently apologizing for your trouble. God, he's now probably thinking that your stupid or something. Like - why would you pick this kind of restaurant if you have no idea what they serve?

Well, _sorry_ , Eridan was the one you recommended the place, you just made the fucking reservations. You kinda thought that he would just recommend some delicious dish for you and then you'd just go with it.

It wasn't exactly in your plan that he wouldn't fucking show up and a complete stranger would take his place instead.

Then said stranger then asks. "What type of food do you usually eat? Pork, chicken, beef, fish? Or maybe you'd like a salad or maybe some pasta?"

Oh, thank goodness, he's not a complete asshole for pointing out your stupidity.

"Pasta is fine," you blurted.

"Okay, do you have any allergies?"

"Nope."

"What kind of stuff do you not like?"

"Umm, olives, bell peppers, nuts, too much onion and garlic. I don't like spicy food too."

"Hmm, let's see." he peers over the menu, lays it on the table for you to show. "You could get this," he points at a dish. "This," he points at another, "this, and this."

You just stared at him blankly. "How do you know?"

He merely grins in return. "You could say that I've been here for a lot of times."

"Well, I'll just let you pick whatever you think tastes the best since you've probably tried all them."

He laughs a little at that, shit, he's got a nice laugh. "Okay then, anything for dessert?"

"Apple pie would be hella amazing."

"Okay, got it," he waves for the waitress, to which the girl notices in a heartbeat. Before you even know it, she's already by your table again, a notepad and a pen in hand.

John mostly does the talking, saying your order and his, pronouncing the dishes' names in outstanding prowess. Damn, if he really has been in this restaurant for who knows how many times, then he must be rich, right?

The lady leaves again, bubbly saying that your orders would be in for about forty minutes. You let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you," you mumble to him. This is so fucking embarrassing.

"No problem," John chuckles in return, drinking at his glass of champagne. Again, you stare at him, being the socially awkward potato you are. Then you saw a tiny smirk playing by his lips. "Why don't you try the champagne, Dave? It's good."

For the next few seconds, you stare at him, then at your own glass, then at him again. John, seemingly unfazed by your stupid gawking, only urges you to taste it, even just a bit.

So you raise the rim of the wine glass to your lips, slightly sipping the beverage, tasting it. "Wow," you breath out, drinking more. "You're right, this is some good shit."

That got him to raise his eyebrows. "You've never tasted champagne before?"

You shook your head at the question. "Eh, I'm not really the kind of guy who associates with the fancy-schmancy-shit. I only drink these type of stuff whenever I'm with my sister in those luxurious parties she attends to. And if ever I'd drink, it'll only be for a sip or two."

You saw John nodding in acknowledgment. "So, you have a sister?"

"Half-sister, to be precise. She's like - the bestest person ever."

"Oh cool," he smiles warmly. "I have a cousin, I treat her like she's my sister all the time. She's pretty much badass too, she does nuclear physics and could shoot a target with her eyes closed."

"Woah, man, that's rad. I'm sure my own sister could basically do black magic. Also, psychoanalyzes even the simplest of shits. Like - she could write a twenty-page essay of her analysis on why 'Birdman' is one of the best movies ever."

John chuckles softly again. "That's awesome too."

"I know, women are the supreme epitome of badass," you nod in agreement.

"But enough about your sister, let's talk about you, mister cutie McShades." the blue-eyed man says, waggling his eyebrows, to which you cough awkwardly.

"I - well, um. What do you want to know about me? Also, that nickname is so fucking terrible."

You see him shrug. "I dunno, anything, I guess. Like hobbies and interests."

"Okay, well... I'm a film major graduate, I'm currently taking up internships in some studios downtown. I'm also into photography, being the hipster I am. I uh - I also collect preserved dead things in jars. I love them so much, I pretty much have a whole shelf just for them..." your voice suddenly dies down, going rigid.

Shit, you told him about your unusual collection. Welp.

At least you get yourself to stop right before you word vomit and go on a full-on detailed description about what contains each twenty-three jars like the last time. Poor, sweet Feferi, forever scarred for life because of your socially awkward ramblings.

Still, you told John about them. Most people would just turn away and never look back when you say anything weird.

Well then, Dave, say goodbye to a potential hot friend-slash-boyfriend. You've seriously ruined everything by mentioning your dead companions in your apartment. No wonder you don't a social life.

But then John urges. "Nice, anything else?"

You blink up at him, surprised. He mutters out a 'what?' when you don't continue.

"Most people get weirded out whenever I share my beloved dead things in jars."

John shrugs at that. "Well, let's just say I'm not 'most people'. I mean - come on, dude, I hate everything about cake. It disgusts and traumatizes the utter living shit out of me. Surely some dead stuff collection of yours wouldn't be too bad, right?"

"Most people would head for the cake."

"Like I said, I'm not 'most people'. So, any more interests or hobbies?"

You don't answer for quite some time, still comprehending to yourself whether this guy is even for real. Eventually, you answer. "I have turntables, I like music mixing."

The raven-haired man's face lights up at that. "Oh, wow, you like music too? I _love_ music, I'm a freelance musician and composer myself. I've started playing the piano ever since I was five."

You let yourself whistle lightly. "So, you're some kind of prodigy or something?"

"Not really, my dad just taught me how to play ever since I was a kid, the passion just kinda stuck I guess. You know, we should try doing a collab or something. I could arrange a meeting or something if ever the both of us would have free time."

"My, my, mister John, are you asking me out again on another date?" you question, smirking wide.

At that, he blushes again, grinning sheepishly at you. "If that would mean I'd have to see you again after this night, then yes, yes I am."

You can't help it, but it's now your turn to feel your cheeks flush. Goddamn, this is just so fucking surreal, you barely even know the guy. Yet here you are now, blushing like an anime school girl that just got noticed my her senpai.

But by god, did John made your kokoro go doki, doki.

Well then, Dave, say goodbye to your usual lonely exploits in watching Netflix alone on your couch and eating a tub of ice cream by yourself. Because you just earned yourself a new potential hot friend-slash-boyfriend named John.

"I'm afraid I'd have to accept your offer, mister John, I'd love to go on a date with you for the second time. Although next time, in a place much familiar and cheaper than this."

"That's perfectly fine by me," he lets out a toothy grin.

Just like the waitress had said, your food is served minutes later. You started digging into your fancy-looking food, and holy fuck, this is literally the best thing you've eaten all month. John laughs a little, you then realize that you might have blurted out that last part.

As the two of you eat your way into oblivion, you and John talked more about yourselves. All throughout your meal, you can't help but feel these weird feelings towards him. 

Your stomach lurches with the way his eyes light up in enthusiasm whenever he talks about his passions and hobbies. And with the way his mouth curves up into the most adorable smiles whenever you say something funny to him. And with the way you hear his laugh, not something demeaning or rude, just a very genuinely nice laugh.

He's also a complete dork, all clumsy and easily flustered when pushed the right buttons.

Not that you're complaining because you're also a complete dork too.

Now that you think of it, you're kinda glad that Eridan didn't show up on this date. Because if he had, you never would've had the chance to spend the entire night with John instead. You're glad at how your chances had folded out and you're glad that the rest of this date had turned out so well.

Because no matter how shitty one might think on how things turn out to be, it's never too late for someone to be there to make things better.

About an hour later, the two of you have finished your food. You called for the waitress to hand you the bill, she happily hands it to you, one hand stretched out. But before you could even get it, John immediately snatches it from her fingers. You see him reaching in his back pocket for his wallet.

He didn't even give you time enough to protest. The next thing you know is that John put _his_ own money in it. He gives it back to the waitress, leaving you surprised and your mouth gaping.

"You shouldn't have..." you try, somewhat loss for words. "We should at least split the payment for the both of us."

John merely shakes his head, chuckling in his hand. "Nah, it's the least I could do for being so late. Allow me to make it up further to you later in bed."

He ends his sentence with a quick wink at you and a suggestive smile. You hear the waitress giggle with his words, you found yourself blushing from it. He then politely thanks the waitress for serving the two of you. She says that you're welcome and she's glad that you had a nice night in the restaurant. Seconds later, she leaves you both, a huge grin on her face.

John then walks towards you, right next to your seat and raises a hand, urging you to take it. Damn, what a fucking gentleman.

You grabbed his expectant hand, lacing its fingers with yours. You get your jacket draped on your seat again and happily exited the restaurant, hand intertwined with his.

Thirty minutes later on your way to the bus stop, you don't know how you end up where you are now, but you and John are now walking side by side on a sidewalk with nothing but the moon lighting up your way.

How fucking romantic.

You don't want to ruin the mood or anything, the silence, after all, is pretty calming. But you find yourself wonder why he helped you with the date even if he didn't really need to. You end up blurting. "So what is this, some kind of your specialty or something?"

The blue-eyed man raises his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Shrugging, you answer. "Oh, you know, taking a stood-up guy's date's place, make them feel better so that you could have your way with hot guys like me?"

To your surprise, John actually laughs at that. And for some weird reason, it sends this weird warmth on your chest again as you hear it. All a sudden, the night doesn't seem to be cold anymore.

"No, I don't usually head for this kind of courting. I work in that restaurant, so I'd still have money in case I don't have enough clients in the freelancing. I mainly work in the kitchen, though, so you didn't see me. The waitress that served us kept on going on and on about this poor guy who got stood up. Then just my luck, my shift ends, so I said to myself 'I should totally help out this guy because why the hell not'. I told the waitress what I was about to do and she was kinda grateful for it. And then there you go, I just earned myself a date with a cute guy."

"Oh," you manage to say, now understanding why the waitress was so jumpy. You then joke, smirking slightly. "Well, I guess I'm just pretty damn irresistible, huh?"

John stops walking to face you, you also stop, looking at him in confusion. He seems to be studying you, looking at you from head to toes. His blue eyes stop on your face, to your shaded eyes, to your freckles, to your lips. You can't help but flush red under his scrutiny. He shakes his head fondly, grinning at you. "With a hot guy like you? Yeah, can't help but wonder why your original date didn't show up."

You return the grin. "Let's just say that he wasted a once in a lifetime opportunity in dating this fine piece of a young man."

"Heh, good thing I took my chances, then?"

"Yes, you're definitely way better than him. I actually had fun tonight."

"Thanks. But do you know what will make this night more fun?"

Confused, you raise an eyebrow. "What?"

He just answers by leaning forward to meet your lips into a kiss.

The kiss is, well, somewhat weird and unfamiliar on your behalf because you don't have enough experience in kissing. Both of your glasses collide with each other with a 'clack'. You let John take the upper hand and he willingly nips at your bottom lip. It elicits a short gasp from you and he takes this as an advantage to enter his tongue on your mouth.

He explores the ridges of your mouth, every nook, and cranny. You found yourself letting out a small moan because holy fucking shit, you've never had this kind of action in a million years and it's just so fucking _amazing_.

A few more seconds later, John breaks the kiss, resting his forehead against yours. He gives you a small smile, you feel his hot, ragged breath against you. Seconds later he speaks up again. "I meant what I said back there, I'd love to make you feel good tonight. In bed, I mean."

"Maybe if you kissed me again, something can be arranged when we reached my apartment." you replied, grinning and breathless.

John's smile becomes even wider before, of course, pulling you again for another kiss. You let out a satisfied sigh into it, kissing him back, happy and satisfied.

Yes, definitely one of the best nights of your life.

* * *

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 7:54 --

TG: gooooooood morning lalonde  
TG: hows my favorite and only sister aka the she-devil that very much exists solely for the purpose of making my life miserable by embarrassing me every time she has the chance to  
TT: Wow, Dave.   
TT: I must say, you're in a quite good mood today. Not to mention that you're up this early in the morning, I take it that everything went well with Eridan?   
TG: pppfftt who the fuck is eridan?   
TG: im talking about john dearest sister try to pay attention next time  
TT: Oh, I'm sorry for not knowing that certain details have changed throughout your date last night.   
TT: So what, pray tell, did happen with Eridan?   
TG: again  
TG: who?   
TG: jk the bastard didnt even showed up last night  
TG: left this damsel in distress there waiting for him at the goddamn restaurant all alone and hungry  
TT: Oh, really?   
TT: Dave, you sure do know that Eridan and I work at the same library. I could easily slit his throat if I could take him deep enough in the bookshelves. That is of course if I'd have your full consent on the matter.   
TT: I assure you that no one will ever find the body.   
TG: woah damn lalonde  
TG: calm your fucking tits theres no need for a crime right now  
TG: as much as i want to strangle the goddamn asshole by using his own goddamn pretentious scarf i dont really want anything to do with him anymore  
TT: You're no fun.   
TT: How about a severe kick to the groin, then?   
TG: ...   
TG: okay that you could do  
TG: but honest to god rose im fine  
TG: cuz a knight in shining armor named john just rescued this beautiful damsel here  
TG: took me by the hand and made me swoon like the fucking gentleman he is  
TT: Oh, right, him.   
TT: Please, do tell me more about this John person.   
TG: oh man where would i even fucking start with john  
TG: so i was waiting for eridan to show up at the restaurant for like a whole fucking hour right and yeah people were like giving these pitiful sad looks and it was fucking horrible  
TG: then i was about to leave the restaurant for good and i dunno forget about all that but just my luck this random guy suddenly grabbed my hand to stop me  
TG: he went on apologizing to me for being late like he was my fucking date just to save me from the humiliation can you even believe that rose  
TG: hes name was john egbert and the guys like the epitome of nothing but absolute hotness  
TG: and also dorkiness because hes such a fucking dork  
TG: but anyway you should like - meet him some time considering that what happened between us last night is more than just a hookup  
TT: I see, I take it that you had fun with him last night?   
TG: oh yeah it was fun i enjoyed it so much  
TG: 11/10 amazing bed action  
TG: ;)  
TT: You fucking dork.   
TG: i dont care you still love me  
TG: oh shit johns waking up  
TG: fuck i still havent cooked breakfast  
TT: Dave, since when have you ever cooked breakfast? Let alone anything?   
TG: stfu rose i can just leave my man starving like some anorexic puppy dog living in the streets wasting away and eating nothing but garbage  
TT: Sad to say, Strider, I'm sure he'll be eating garbage once you present him the food you 'cooked' for him.   
TG: ouch lalonde you wound me so hard and deep  
TT: I'm sure John fucked you so hard and deep last night.   
TG: goddamnit rose i fucking hate you so much  
TT: I love you too, Dave.   
TG: will you just fucking come here in my apartment and i dunno buy us some breakfast  
TT: Fine, fine.   
TT: Since I'm such a benevolent sister, might as well cook for the two of you later for lunch.   
TG: yey youre the best  
TG: oh fuck wait  
TG: something came up  
TG: rose change of plans could you uh you go to my apartment a little later  
TT: Let me guess, it's time for round two?   
TG: heh you know it  
TG: say how does 10 o clock sound for you  
TT: A little late for breakfast, but alright.   
TT: Have fun, dearest brother.  
TG: oh i will beloved sister of mine  
TG: ill fill you in with the details later ;)

\-- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 8:29 --


End file.
